DECEMBER HOROSCOPE

You are hoping for cosy and festive holidays with your loved ones and can’t wait for this year to end? 
I’m about to tell you if the last weeks of the year will spark joy or destroy you completely, like 2020 tried to all year long. My December Horoscope is here! Enjoy and don’t be mad if your future doesn’t look that bright. I don’t make the rules (actually I do). 

aries

December is good to you! This year is basically over and nothing bad is going to happen to you. Now it’s time to get ready for the holidays! If you are celebrating with your family, I do recommend training your drinking habitudes, you will need them. Your uncle’s jokes are so much funnier after the 5th glass of wine. You haven’t drunk as much as you could have in November so start training your liver today.  This will help you to survive long brunches and dinners. I just learned you can spice up literally every kind of warm drink with a shot of rum and to feel even warmer inside out. 

taurus

Please use these last weeks of 2020 to do something productive. I know there is a pandemic, people should stay at home and don’t meet too many people, but that doesn’t mean to sit in front of the TV all day long in your questionable lounge wear you kept for years because it`s ideal for these days at home. I see your point but it’s not good for your soul. Try to wear real clothes for a change and go outside, check out your neighbour’s yards and gossip about their ugly Christmas decoration. Call your parents and actually listen for change. Try something new and you won’t regret it. 

gemini

Relax! These days are quite stressful for your personality but I’m here to tell you: You worry too much about insignificant things nobody else cares about as much as you do! You don’t have all Christmas presents already and that’s ok! Especially family and close friends won’t tell, if you give them stuff, they don’t need. They will thank you for literally anything. Try writing a poem for grandma, buy a small but decorative axe for your mum. Give your family the gift of your presence on Christmas eve, you are adorable and beautiful, they should be grateful! Drink a cup of tea, lean back and do something relaxing and joyful like liking all my posts on Instagram to push my engagement. You will be fine. 

cancer

I just googled: Your sign planet and element are moon and water. That’s funny because the moon is responsible for high and low tide and according to this maybe also for your whiney mood swings. I apologise because I’m sure you are already offended again. Let’s try to calm down in December and remember that nobody likes an overdramatic wimp, ok? If you want to start living as a serious member of society I have a little exercise for you: Ask your friends to roast you. Invite them to a zoom meeting and listen to their jokes, created to hit your week points. This will make you stronger. I love the way you are already, but I sense I will love you even more after this fun little group activity. 

leo

First of all, I love that colour on you! You spark confidence and even though that might not be the case, it’s the perfect start for a productive last month of 2020. Hold on to that feeling and try to be as confident about yourself as people see you from the outside. Sometimes it’s hard for you to fulfil your own expectations to yourself but believe me, you are on the right track. Leos tend to feel like the main character all the time, and that’s fine because you actually are the main character of your own show! Nobody else really cares as much about that hell of a show as you do, but that’s ok as long as you love it. Also stars and planets and all that stuff tell me that you should try out some kind of martial arts. Just imagine having those skills during your next argument. So helpful. 

virgo

You are always trying to be the best at everything, and I can’t really make up my mind if that’s a good or a bad thing. Nonetheless you are a hardworking and focused person so December will be a productive month for you. You are quite impulsive and holiday season holds a lot of opportunities to start unnecessary fights and arguments over trivial details. I don’t need to tell you, you will win all this fights, but I want to encourage you to calm your temper. I know you have strong opinions about everything, but nobody really cares that much. Don’t come for me, I’m just reporting what stars are telling me. 

Libra

December is the perfect month for you to rearrange your apartment, spice up your walls with some colour or start a DIY-project to upcycle an old dresser. I recently saw a video of someone gluing tiny tiles to a coffee table and the result was pretty cool. Christmas won’t be stressful. You seem to be quite organized and put together, so you already have bought all the presents for family and friends. Still, holiday season can be a minefield. People coming together is always a hot spot for arguments. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because as a neutral third party it’s your time to shine and give your thoughtful advice. But if you are involved in arguments yourself get the hell out, you are not emotionally stable enough for drama right now! 

sagittarius

During the pandemic and Christmas season you have extremely high expectations and project them on to other people. Just because you think you’ve found the perfect way of handling specific situations doesn’t mean it’s actually the right way for everybody else too. I know that’s hard for you to understand as you are extremely stubborn and wish everyone just the best. Slow down a bit and try to find a way to relax without thinking too much about others for a moment. Go outside for a long walk, order extremely unhealthy food from the restaurant around the corner that offers pizza, schnitzel and sushi, or watch a trashy movie. These days are perfect for a little bit of a change. Don’t you want to try out a new spicy hair colour? No?...Ok, well, I tried. 

scorpio

What can I tell you about Scorpios? Seriously, I don’t know anything about them, because I have my life under control and no Scorpios near me, as they don’t have the best reputation. I can only imagine how it must feel for Scorpios (because I’m not one of them thank god!) to be judged just by their sign. December and holiday season are the perfect time to show off your likable sides. Do you know some entertaining magic tricks? Are you a great listener and give the best advices? Are you an exquisite chef and love cooking for friends? No? Oh, well… But I’m sure you will find something people love about you. 

capricorn

Let’s try something completely new and wild this Christmas: Try to be spontaneous and not planning the entire holidays in advance. I know you are convinced apocalypse will be upon us if you don’t wrap all Christmas gifts in that specific wrapping paper you have seen on Pinterest for 60 bugs, but let me tell you, we will be fine no matter what. I imagine you smiling at me right now and telling me I’m right but still buying this wrapping paper the minute I leave. And that’s ok, because I know neurotic you won’t be able to sleep in peace otherwise. Just promise me: Don’t buy new candles this season! You have more than enough, and you shouldn’t spend that much time alone in your room looking at them anyways. That’s kind of creepy. 

aquarius

You are full of ideas and some of them are actually really great ones too, but you never pull them through. Use the last weeks of 2020 to find at least one project in your chaotic mind you will actually start AND finish. It’s not that much about the final result, but the journey of sticking to an idea for once! Don’t be afraid to try something new, you’ll be fine. And if the result sucks, nobody has to know. And giving it to your parents as a Christmas gift is always an option too, they have to like it!
And try to be a little bit nicer to your Tinder matches, they don’t have to know your problems with showing feelings already. Trick them into liking you first. 

Pisces

Maybe it’s not the best idea for you to watch romantic Christmas movies these days. Your emotional personality might won’t be able to watch an entire movie without crying and projecting the (fictional!) main character’s problems to your own life. Try watching some comedy movies or “Die hard” instead. A little bit of an unemotional killer has never hurt somebody. Unless you try out your new skills on your siblings. That would be totally fine too, because that’s what they’re here for.